Dat Phan Online - Dat's Live Journal

Site Map

Dat on the Tonight Show,
Dat at the Comedy Store,
And More!

Chinese Martial
Arts Institute

This section was inspired by Dat's nephew Liem Le. Dat Phan is not responsible for any material below and information provided on this page do not necessarily reflect the views and political positions of Dat Phan. Many of these views are not rated and should only be read by a mature audience as they are intended for adults.

Liem Le: Days in the life of Dat Phan | Liem Le Strikes Back
Eddie Phanichkul: A Story
Fans: Praise
Not Fans: Racism | Hatred

Days in the life of Dat Phan
December 2003

Yeah I’ve been spending sometime with uncle Dat, hung out with him for 3 days a couple of weeks ago and 4 days this week. I’ve pretty much been everywhere in Hollywood it seems like, I’ve been to movie premieres, I’ve met some big managers, I’ve seen what it's like to be in a Dat Phan day, and I’ve met other celebs. I've met Jay Leno, Kevin Eubanks, Bob Read & Ross Mark (managers for the tonight show and FOR UNCLE DAT), Reeta Piazza (manager for half the Improvs in L.A.), stood next to Maria Menounos on the red carpet (some reporter/model?), Steve Marmel (who just aired on the tonight show, who also is a manager at Nickelodeon studios, who knows uncle Dat, who is also in contact with Bob Read and Ross Mark), Amy Anderson (comic), saw David Spade, Bill Devlin (perhaps an upcoming star), the list goes on... I've been to CBS studios, NBC studios, Nickelodeon Studios, L.A. Improv, Jay Leno's the Tonight show, and more.

This all happened in the 7 days I've spent with uncle Dat. His life is nuts. 3 days with him seems like 2 weeks, and I mean this. I left San Diego, and came back, and did so much with uncle Dat, that I began to miss home, as if I was gone for awhile. And I don't feel I’m one to miss homely easily. Uncle Dat's day literally can start off empty, and by 9am, he'll have an audition, meeting, and movie premiere to attend to. These 3 things will make his day go from 9am to 9pm. And this happened the second day I was with uncle Dat.

I'd have to say his life is very interesting, but I don't think it's something I would want to do. There is the glamour of celebrities and fame, but the cost of it is life. You really have to change your life, and give it all you've got to survive in this type of business. You have to be ready to just about do anything for your career. Your every move, every hour really has to be for your career. For example, when going out to lunch, uncle Dat calls up friends to come along, but these friends are people that are tied to the L.A. Improvs, people that do shows, etc, it becomes a lunch to network. Everyday that he requests off is VERY VERY VERY COSTLY, in more than one way. I think uncle Dat requested 5 days off this WHOLE entire year, maybe more but out of 365 days, THAT IS NUTS!

His days are so busy that I begin to think as uncle Dat is doing laundry, that it actually would be more cost effective if he were to pay someone to do it! His room is becoming a mess, and those of you that know him, he's a clean freak, wants everything organized nicely. He spent about 2 days at his home last month, the rest of the time he was on the road and out of town.

Uncle Dat's room is quickly piling up with paperwork and recently he's HIRED me! He's paying me to do paperwork! Even then its going to take me hours to do it, I'm talking maybe 16 hours to sort through the paperwork, and file it.

With the help from Eddie Phanichkul and myself, I think we are still falling behind. Eddie does ALOT for uncle Dat. Those of you in family may question why does uncle Dat have so many people helping him out (from managers to publicists), may question it that it’s a waste of money. I tell you what, this is no one man show. He sometimes can't even make it to his car after his show to grab his jacket, someone else has to go grab it for him, while he's being mobbed by the fans.

In the last few days I've began to realize on my own why you want to live in L.A. if you want to succeed in this type of business. If a manager informs you that they have an audition for you, don't say you can't make it because it's a 3 hr drive away, don't say you don't want to go because you are too tired, YOU HAVE to be ready to go! Not going to the audition looks bad to your managers, it effects your career and it can even cost you money.

I'm also glad to find out that Hollywood isn't all a cut throat business. I feel that I'm sometimes a philosopher, and what I’ve seen is that everyday niceness and kindness still is a key for success in
Hollywood.

We all know uncle Dat to be a nice guy, and I've seen him even be nice to drunk guys that approach him, people that try to tell him what to do with his life, and he still tries to be nice, well no, "tries" wouldn't be the word. He is nice to everyone! I hope this email was entertaining and yet revealing, I once heard "why doesn't uncle contact us?", "why is he never in town?" I was just hoping to help answer these questions. My story is all from California, it doesn't involve the time of waiting at an airport, the plane flight, taxi's etc.

^top

Liem Le Strikes Back
January 2004

Liem Le wrote:

Before I begin this email, I want to stress the fact that I do not encourage vengeance or any type of negative emotions. Please do not send hate mail to those mentioned in this email. If anything, I hope this enlightens and begins happiness to you.

I encountered this link off of Dat Phan's messsage board (http://datphan.com/forum/): http://www.cringehumor.net/reviews/dat_award/

Those of us that know Dat, know that he's probably done nothing at all to provoke these people to act they way they do.

I've probably spent the last month and a half with Dat, and I have nothing but good things to say about him. And I can't thank Dat enough for what he has shown me. He has let me journey with him while he works, and I have learned alot about his profession, his life, and even about myself. He has taken me to Las Vegas, Barona Casino (in san diego), Indio California, countless places in Hollywood, and more that I know of, but can't seem to name off at the moment.

It saddens me that www.cringehumor.net nominates Dat as a hack, mentions him as "Worst Moment of 2003" when he won Last Comic Standing, and the editors continuiously accuse Dat of not being funny. I guess the last two issues are opinions, and people have their right to their opinions even if I don't like them. But as for being a hack, Dat's material is all original. His jokes are constructed by himself, so I don't know how they accuse him of stealing jokes.

But I guess what I mainly wanted to bring forth to you, is that this is what Dat has to put up with. His life may not be as glamorous as we may imagine.

If you read the full artricle from www.cringehumor.net you'll see that they have an audio clip of the moment when Dat is presented with their lame award and you'll see how he reacts. You'll hear Dat play off the prank cleanly and continue on with his work of autographing and meeting fans. Matter of fact, when Dat came home from the airport after this trip, he did not even mention this event to me. I think this only shows you his true character of integrity, friendliness, and goodness. He didn't even bother to tell me the story so that he could complain of these jerks. And even when he is caught up in the moment, he deals with the situation smoothly.

Dealing with situations like this isn't always easy. You might think to yourself, so what if he acted nice on this occasion? Try flying across the US from L.A. to New York, getting 6 hours of sleep on the plane because you're too busy working for sleep, then having to perform a show a couple of hours later. Not to mention the uncomfortable sleep on the plane. Do a 1-2hr. show, then do autographs and meet the people for an hour afterwards. Imagine doing this constantly. Receiving only 1-2 days off a month! And then encountering these people filled with hate! I personally think I would explode, shouting cuss words, and even throwing some fists.

Not a single time have I seen this type of attitude from Dat. I wish I could somehow express how grateful I am to have spent my time with my Uncle Dat and to learn from him. And I hope that his career grows exponentially because I think he deserves it.

I believe my journey with Dat has come to an end, so I don't think I'll be writing anymore updates about Dat, because I am in the process of finding myself a job. So I won't have time to travel with Dat like I have in the past few months. But before I end this email, I still want to enlighten you on somethings I've learned while I was with Dat. The suggestions below are not offend anyone, they are just "my" suggestions.

#1. Alot of people go to Dat and suggest a joke for him to use. Comedy is his career. This is like if you worked as a manager at a company, and me (who doesn't currently have a job) going to you and telling you this is how you should run your department. Dat works hard for his jokes, he analyzes jokes, and he spends alot of quality time in creating his jokes. In someways, telling him a joke you think is funny for him to use is insulting. If anything! Use your valuable time with Dat and just have FUN! He loves Pho, and he loves to hang out with his family and friends. Don't complicate things and mix work with pleasure.

#2. When going to a comedy event, LAUGH! I bring this up for people like me. I'm asian and was raised with asian values of course. These values differ from the American society. I don't know what it is, but during shows like "The Simpsons", I will watch it with friends who are laughing outrageously. One of them will stop laughing and look at me to ask, "Why aren't you laughing? Don't you think this is funny?" I do think it's funny, but for some reason I just don't laugh. I think its due to my up bringing. Some asian cultures are very strict and I think the adults teach the kids to be quiet, so therefore when growing up, they don't find it necessary to voice a laughter. I might be and probably am wrong, but that's my current opinion.

#3. Dat's schedule is extremely busy. Try not to call him and waste time about silliness. Don't get me wrong, HE LOVES his Family and Friends, trust me. He tries to stay in San Diego as much as he can, even his managers could back me up on this. But if he seems quick on the phone with you, don't take it personally. He recieves perhaps 30-60 phone calls a day, so he has to spend his time carefully or else he could be on the phone all day and not accomplish anything productive.

#4. Dat's managers control his calendar. If you happen to want to book him for an event, you have to go through his mangers. If you just want to see where he is, or what days he might have free you can check out his calendar at: http://calendar.yahoo.com/datphan75. Also his managers are good for more than that. If you are a family member and want to attend one of his shows, you can contact his managers to see if you can get free tickets. Its best to check with the managers, because they have more information on his shows then Dat does, honestly.

Forward this email to anyone you want. I'm going to end this email on a quote, as I once saw in a movie, "If you can't end your story with something great to say, let someone else say it for you."

"An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather."

-Washington Irving

Liem Le
www.liemqle.com - liemqle@liemqle.com - www.datphan.com

^top

A Story
December 2003

I have spent many days with Dat Phan. We work together and feed off each other's sense of humor. Dat Phan is human. He isn’t the funniest man in the world, nor is he unfunny. There are days where we will go far and eat very little, but the pay off for the day is the finality of goals we’d set out to accomplish. Food means little to a working body and in our own way, working is food for our soul.
Dat Phan is a workaholic, as much as I am. From my earliest observation he would hustle tickets for his free shows at the La Jolla Comedy Store. I recall sitting in a Bobba Tea place sitting in a booth and drinking ice water with Dat Phan. We didn’t want to get kicked out so Dat ordered a tea, one of the modest priced teas from a specialty tea shop. Dat and I would sit in this booth and stamp little yellow La Jolla Comedy Store passes. We’d take turns stamping the front and backs of thousands upon thousands of passes. There were two rubber stamps and two red ink pads. Frequently, Dat would run out of ink so he would purchase many ink pads. I sat there as he stamped his website address (http://www.datphan.com) and hand me the freshly stamped passes and I would stamp the date of the show on the front of the very popular “Admit Two Free” passes. These passes, by no means, were to be given to comedians. No, they were meant for customers who would by many drinks during a typical feature show at the Store.

The way we would work around ticket sales was to give away these passes like hotcakes at a Sunday brunch. We would stop people in the streets, go to the shopping malls, and even bet with each other if could talk a girl into coming to the show. The best and most probably way to get someone to come to the show was to attend other comedy shows in the area and offer someone of legal age free passes. The trick there was to flash a few yellow passes in their face, while mentioning that “I just happen to have a few passes here.” These passes, however, were made for the sole purpose of suckering individuals into coming to the store. It wasn’t a bait and switch, or any other type of operation in which we were to deceive the customer, but the fact of the matter was, we wanted them to come. The operation was to flood the building with paying customers, so they’d come back again and again. Dat was good at this and many times would pack the house. His success in giving out free passes to his Comedy Store appearances was his own testament of his ability to not only win the hearts of any average Joe in the street by getting them to attend the show, but also ability to make people laugh by coming again and again to these shows.

Dat works heard for his reputation and he’s always been a man to achieve the goals he sets out to conquer because he has the determination and the drive to do so. As for how long his driving force will last will depend on his energy and ability to make America laugh. Judging by his ratings and popularity, he can only keep growing personally and professionally as a stand-up comic.

^top

Chris Smith
January 12, 2004

This is to Dat Phan, he did a show at CSULB a while ago that I got the chance to see. It was the first time I had see him and not only was he really funny, but I was impressed at how down to earth he was. His goals and dreams and Ideas were really outstanding and it's rare to catch people like that now-a-days, let alone performing and expressing them. I just had to let you know that it was very appreciated and admired and I hope he keeps doing his thing. Best of luck.

Letters like these are frequent in our mailbox and I'd like to display more of them but that would take too much time and it's not as funny as my responses to the hate mail, nor the hate mail themselves.

----

Aichi Tran
August 7th, 2003

I'm proud of the way you handled yourself and the way you represent us Vietnamese!

You know you have made it to the BIG TIME when you appear on Jay Leno :-)

Wonder if you are the first Vietnamese to do so???

Take care, work hard and remember to pave the way for the rest of us.

See you in Houston one day.

What is it with Dat Phan and Asians?! Oh yeah, he's Asian. I wonder if white comics like John Heffron get emails like, "Us white people are so proud of you John Heffron!" That would be funny to me... but mainly because those people are probably in the KKK or white supremecists. That's a double standard Dat Phan hopes to change one day: He hopes people will look beyond the color barrier and simple say "I'm proud of you as a person and as a human being."

----

Scott McRae
August 6th, 2003

Hey, I just saw you on the Tonight Show. I think you are really funny, and
hot too. Too bad you're not gay... it's a terrible loss. Well, anyway, good
luck with your comedy.

This letter was funny to me.

----

^top

WARNING, THESE LETTERS BELOW MAY CONTAIN OBJECTIONAL MATERIAL, POOR LANGUAGE, RACIST REMARKS AND ARE NOT SUITED FOR CHILDREN. WE HAVE ONLY BLOCKED VOWELS OF POTENTIALLY ILLICITLY WORDED MATERIAL.

All I can say for these people is that they are quite ignorant and think they represent the views of America, but they are sadly mistaken. Some of these letters also need a spell check. Read them and I will display my responses/comments on the letters in red.

-Eddie Phanichkul

January 30th, 2004

Sender Name: ted
Sender E- Mail: vietcongted@yahoo,com
Sender Telephone: 1800-f-ck you
Message: stop making fun of your innocent nice old mom with your bullsh-t..i bet she wants to smack you midget ass...if she wants ill do it for her...stop making fun of viet people so your fat ass stupid white friends can laugh at your midget viet ass...learn some reall f-cken jokes u short mother f-cker traitor...if u wanna meet up ill teach your chicken sh-t viet ass a lesson...get a reall job you bumb ass..stop disrespecting viet people u little chicken sh-t p-ssy mommas boy mother f-cker...u want a lesson vietcong here will teach u one...
IP: 63.203.157.23

This person is really in need of medical attention. I think a rubber chicken went up his ass and he's having Vietnam War flashbacks. But the funny part is he's only 15, so you see the irony in that statement.

----

Sender Name: Jerry Brewer
Sender E- Mail: mike@gokartforum.com
Sender Telephone:
Message: Dat Phan, you suck! I've saw you on tv tonight ans you still have the same shitty jokes. Go back to the rice fields you fucking idiot!
IP: 208.149.144.115

This email is obviously a response to the Comedy Central Presents 1/2 Hour Special starring Dat Phan. My response is, "We tapped this in September. Thanks for watching and supporting Dat Phan!"

Lots of people in America seem to believe what they see on TV must be real; the Homer Simpson Syndrom (HSS) , as I like to call it. Sometimes things get tapped really long ago and get aired at a later date, kinda like how movies may take anywhere from 30 days to 3 years or longer to complete. Be aware of that next time you're watching reality television or a special.

^top

----

December 21, 2003

Sender Name: Aidan Xuyen
Sender E- Mail: aidanxuyen@-----.com
Sender Telephone: (714) --------
Message: Hi Dat,

Hey whats up. I just wanted to email you requick and fill you in on something. Well I was at the Miss Vietnam USA Pageant tonight, and I must say that after tonight I lost all respect that I have for you. I was proud of you when you won Last Comic Standing, not only because you were Vietnamese but I thought you were talented. Well my opinion of you changed complete tonight. Don't you hate it when people talk about something like they know what they're talking about? When it's clear that they are obvious ignorant about the fact. What I'm referring to is the part where you said that Vietnamese culture does not have it's own Martial arts form. Well you know what? Maybe you should do some RESEARCH on Vietnamese culture before you decide to talk about it. Vietnamese Culture DOES have it's own martial arts style and it's called VOVINAM and VO THUAT BINH DINH.

I am ashamed that you are misrepresenting our culture like you. I think that if you are going to speak about Vietnamese culture, atleast KNOW what you are speaking about. You are not only proving to us Vietnamese that you are ignorant of Vietnamese culture, but you are also giving a misrepresentation of our own culture to the mainstream audience. I mean, don't you hate it when you open your mouth and stupid shit comes out? I'm pretty sure you do that alot because it was proven to the whole audience tonight. Well I'm sorry that I voted for you if I had known you would misrepresent our culture like this, and use stupid accents to make you funny. Reality check.. It's not, and it's old. Move on to new material because you know what? Only amateurs use the accent to get a laugh. Well that's all for now, I hope you take my suggestion in consideration and that you would do some research on your culture before you speak about it.

Aidan Xuyen
IP: 66.121.56.47

Dat Phan had a good response to this. He said, "It's a joke." That's really all that can be said. Again, the HSS (Homer Simpson Syndrome)... People don't know when to laugh or they turn the radio up when they fart. It doesn't make any sense and those people need to be lined up and shot, or have pies thrown at their faces. I know, I'm mean. I never claimed to not be mean. I'm not Dat Phan.

^top

----

November 11, 2003

Sender Name: dat ng
Sender E- Mail:
Sender Telephone:
Message: I think this page to too informal and looks like a a teenager's website.. needs better graphics.
IP: 128.54.72.108

This isn't realy hate mail, but I think this was directed toward me. I like to think that websites can be informal and fun, like a comic's personality. It doesn't all have to look like IBM.

----

September 22, 2003

Sender Name: erienne
Sender E- Mail: sublime@hotmail.com
Sender Telephone:
Message: i don't think you have any new material. and before you start on to another tour anywhere i suggest that you stop... and think about the material you do now, then after you do that change you whole routine cuz it sucks i cannot believe you won the contest, there were much better performers in that contest then you i am disappointed with nbc for allowing that circus to continue. hope u take this critique into consideration!
IP: 216.222.241.53

This sounded more like hate-mail than a critique. This personal does seem to think they know about comedy or comedy contests either. I can't really make fun of this person because there's really nothing to make fun of except they can't spell and have poor grammar--but then again, so do I.

^top

----

August 27th, 2003
(Old Feedback Form)

requiredName: Dats Mom
requiredEmail: DatsMom@Vientnam
telephone: k
requiredMessage: HEY DAT PHAN, U NOT FUNNY GUY U USE SAME-A JOKE OVER AND-A OVER AGAIN, U DISHONOR FAMILY BY CONTINUALLY MAKING FUN OF DAT PHAN MOTHER, YOUR FATHER FOOLONG FAN AND I HEREBY DISOWN YOU FROM THE FAN FAMILY AND WISH YOU LUCK IN YOUR GAY SAN FRANSISCO NEIGHBORHOOD...FAGOT

Racism in its full form. Can you believe people like this acctually exist? They obviously know nothing about anything since they think Dat's from San Francisco. I even venture to guess this person thinks all asians are from San Francisco, which is mostly true... well, except for China. Some asians are from China too.

----

August 9th, 2003
Direct e-mail from: Amber Leary (marbjack_n_chronic@yahoo.com)
Subject: From a fellow San Diegan

I don't typically write hate OR fan mail but then I read this: "but in reality, for every 1 hate mail that we get, we have 1000 fan letters." I figured, after reading that, that there must be a lot of people keeping their mouths shut because I know that while America isn't the brightest nation in the world, it's certainly not stupid enough for the majority of television fans to like you.

I too am from San Diego and lately I've been almost ashamed of that fact. It's sickening that you've somehow become a representative of this city in the minds of Americans. You I know you're pretty dense which is why you couldn't seem to get it through your head that the decent comedians on the show couldn't stand you. You talk about finding Dave Mordal funny and having no problems with him. Of course YOU have no problem with HIM. You would have no reason to. But hasn't it occurred to you that Dave just fucking hates you? He deserved this more than you ever could. Rich deserved this more than you. Jesus fucking Christ, even Rob deserved it more than you.

Now I'm not doing this to get you down so spare me the happy optimistic bullshit. I just want you to understand... I want you to get it through your head that you are the only joke that anyone's laughing at. You are not a good comedian. You're kidding yourself!!!! I would beg you please slit your wrists and crawl under that desk of yours to die alone but I'm sure you would only give me some weak passive bullshit response like, "Well, that's your opinion and your entitled to it so thank you."

GROW A PAIR OF BALLS FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!!!!!! Maybe if you just get a set, people wouldn't hate you so much, and they do. You're true "Fan base" consists of comedic idiots who don't know their ass from their elbow and don't know wit from stupidity which is why they voted for you.

Lastly, I'd like to thank you because you've inspired me to get the hell out of San Diego asap and move to the east coast where the true talent resides and wusses like you get their little Asian, Margaret Cho-rip off asses raped and murdered in a dirty alleyway.

You're a waste of life. You've been handed opportunities that do not belong to you. I sincerely hope you burn in hell.

-"Love" Amber

I'm not even going to touch this one. Well, ok, I will. She has emotional problems which stem from a poor upbringing and possible sexual abuse from her father. How do I know this? She wants Dat to "grow a pair of balls," which to me signifies she is in love with balls and because of that fact, she mut have had some balls in her life early in her childhood. She also wants Dat to "burn in hell," but clearly she's skitsofrantic because she also wants him ass-raped and murdered in a dirty alleyway. We all know if you get ass-raped and then murdered in a dirty alleyway, you go straight to heaven.

Amber has anger issues as well. You can clearly see she's emulating experiences she's had in previous encounters with her dreary vision of herself in the passage, "please slit your wrists and crawl under that desk of yours to die alone."

I think the voices inside her head are also talking to her in Dave or Rob form. I have personally talked to all the Last Comic Standing finalists and while they may have had their differences with Dat, they really are over it--well, I can't say all of them. Vos and Dave don't seem to be bitter about anything at least and I truely respect them for that. In fact, go out and give them a big hug if you see them at a show, because they are swell guys.

You can clearly also see the type of person she is through her email address... that word "chronic" means (marajuana). So kids, let this be a lesson to you. Don't do drugs!!!

^top

----

These are a series of message board responses directed at me. We had some racist hate mail and I decided to respond to some of them publicly at fansofrealitytv.com

July 21, 2003
Direct email from: Freakzilla714@aol.com
Subject: asians are a weak people

dat phan was crying on episode one, and now you are crying because someone
calls him out for the hack that he is on the internet.

Obviously this person is racist and from Orange County, a place where racism is rampant, along with rich white people like that show the O.C. or that movie Orange County (oops, sorry, my HSS kicked in).

So I responded to this person's query:

July 23, 2003
Direct email from: Freakzilla714@aol.com
Subject: Re: asians are a weak people

In a message dated 7/21/2003 11:00:08 AM Pacific Daylight Time, eddie@datphan.com writes:

> . Ralphie May said it best the other day when he told me, "it's all been done before."

It hasn't all been done before, because new things come out everyday yet to be joked about. And you could do an original joke on an old thing, instead of just stealing jokes from Margaret Cho or changing an jewish joke to an asian joke like Dat Phag does.

Dat Phan has never really seen or performed with Margaret Cho. He does remember her short-lived TV show, however. The old jewish joke this person refers to is an old street joke that goes, "Two jews walk into a bar, two weeks later, they own it." It doesn't make any sense and there are tons of different variations with other races and ethnicities -- all of which don't make sense. Dat does his bit to set-up another punch later in his act. While I admit, the joke makes no sense as a text, Dat performs it as his father testing out his son's P.A. system. He has used this joke as a call-back to other jokes or to set up jokes.

I actually asked Dat about it one time and he said, "That was a jewish joke?" He had never heard the joke before. And believe me, Dat Phan wouldn't lie to my face.

July 24, 2003
Direct email from: Freakzilla714@aol.com
Subject: If Dat gets a sit-com

He could just make one episode and repeat it every week.

Kinda like me and your mom every week? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (that was a good one, Just as funny as this clown). There's irony there and if you don't know where it is, you don't know comedy as well as I do.

^top

Ads

menulinks

© Copyright 2002-2010 Dat Phan