THESE LETTERS BELOW MAY CONTAIN OBJECTIONAL
MATERIAL, POOR LANGUAGE, RACIST REMARKS AND
ARE NOT SUITED FOR CHILDREN. WE HAVE ONLY BLOCKED
VOWELS OF POTENTIALLY ILLICITLY WORDED MATERIAL.
All I can say for these
people is that they are quite ignorant and think
they represent the views of America, but they
are sadly mistaken. Some of these letters also
need a spell check. Read them and I will display
my responses/comments on the letters in red.
January 30th, 2004
Sender Name: ted
Sender E- Mail: vietcongted@yahoo,com
Sender Telephone: 1800-f-ck you
Message: stop making fun of your innocent nice
old mom with your bullsh-t..i bet she wants
to smack you midget ass...if she wants ill do
it for her...stop making fun of viet people
so your fat ass stupid white friends can laugh
at your midget viet ass...learn some reall f-cken
jokes u short mother f-cker traitor...if u wanna
meet up ill teach your chicken sh-t viet ass
a lesson...get a reall job you bumb ass..stop
disrespecting viet people u little chicken sh-t
p-ssy mommas boy mother f-cker...u want a lesson
vietcong here will teach u one...
This person is really
in need of medical attention. I think a rubber
chicken went up his ass and he's having Vietnam
War flashbacks. But the funny part is he's only
15, so you see the irony in that statement.
Sender Name: Jerry Brewer
Sender E- Mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Message: Dat Phan, you suck! I've saw you on
tv tonight ans you still have the same shitty
jokes. Go back to the rice fields you fucking
This email is obviously
a response to the Comedy Central Presents 1/2
Hour Special starring Dat Phan. My response
is, "We tapped this in September. Thanks
for watching and supporting Dat Phan!"
Lots of people in America
seem to believe what they see on TV must be
real; the Homer Simpson Syndrom
(HSS) , as I like to call it.
Sometimes things get tapped really long ago
and get aired at a later date, kinda like how
movies may take anywhere from 30 days to 3 years
or longer to complete. Be aware of that next
time you're watching reality television or a
December 21, 2003
Sender Name: Aidan Xuyen
Sender E- Mail: aidanxuyen@-----.com
Sender Telephone: (714) --------
Message: Hi Dat,
Hey whats up. I just wanted to email you requick
and fill you in on something. Well I was at
the Miss Vietnam USA Pageant tonight, and I
must say that after tonight I lost all respect
that I have for you. I was proud of you when
you won Last Comic Standing, not only because
you were Vietnamese but I thought you were talented.
Well my opinion of you changed complete tonight.
Don't you hate it when people talk about something
like they know what they're talking about? When
it's clear that they are obvious ignorant about
the fact. What I'm referring to is the part
where you said that Vietnamese culture does
not have it's own Martial arts form. Well you
know what? Maybe you should do some RESEARCH
on Vietnamese culture before you decide to talk
about it. Vietnamese Culture DOES have it's
own martial arts style and it's called VOVINAM
and VO THUAT BINH DINH.
I am ashamed that you are misrepresenting our
culture like you. I think that if you are going
to speak about Vietnamese culture, atleast KNOW
what you are speaking about. You are not only
proving to us Vietnamese that you are ignorant
of Vietnamese culture, but you are also giving
a misrepresentation of our own culture to the
mainstream audience. I mean, don't you hate
it when you open your mouth and stupid shit
comes out? I'm pretty sure you do that alot
because it was proven to the whole audience
tonight. Well I'm sorry that I voted for you
if I had known you would misrepresent our culture
like this, and use stupid accents to make you
funny. Reality check.. It's not, and it's old.
Move on to new material because you know what?
Only amateurs use the accent to get a laugh.
Well that's all for now, I hope you take my
suggestion in consideration and that you would
do some research on your culture before you
speak about it.
Dat Phan had a good response
to this. He said, "It's a joke." That's
really all that can be said. Again, the HSS
(Homer Simpson Syndrome)... People don't know
when to laugh or they turn the radio up when
they fart. It doesn't make any sense and those
people need to be lined up and shot, or have
pies thrown at their faces. I know, I'm mean.
I never claimed to not be mean. I'm not Dat
November 11, 2003
Sender Name: dat ng
Sender E- Mail:
Message: I think this page to too informal and
looks like a a teenager's website.. needs better
This isn't realy hate
mail, but I think this was directed toward me.
I like to think that websites can be informal
and fun, like a comic's personality. It doesn't
all have to look like IBM.
September 22, 2003
Sender Name: erienne
Sender E- Mail: email@example.com
Message: i don't think you have any new material.
and before you start on to another tour anywhere
i suggest that you stop... and think about the
material you do now, then after you do that
change you whole routine cuz it sucks i cannot
believe you won the contest, there were much
better performers in that contest then you i
am disappointed with nbc for allowing that circus
to continue. hope u take this critique into
This sounded more like
hate-mail than a critique. This personal does
seem to think they know about comedy or comedy
contests either. I can't really make fun of
this person because there's really nothing to
make fun of except they can't spell and have
poor grammar--but then again, so do I.
August 27th, 2003
(Old Feedback Form)
requiredName: Dats Mom
requiredMessage: HEY DAT PHAN, U NOT FUNNY GUY
U USE SAME-A JOKE OVER AND-A OVER AGAIN, U DISHONOR
FAMILY BY CONTINUALLY MAKING FUN OF DAT PHAN
MOTHER, YOUR FATHER FOOLONG FAN AND I HEREBY
DISOWN YOU FROM THE FAN FAMILY AND WISH YOU
LUCK IN YOUR GAY SAN FRANSISCO NEIGHBORHOOD...FAGOT
Racism in its full form.
Can you believe people like this acctually exist?
They obviously know nothing about anything since
they think Dat's from San Francisco. I even
venture to guess this person thinks all asians
are from San Francisco, which is mostly true...
well, except for China. Some asians are from
August 9th, 2003
Direct e-mail from: Amber Leary (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Subject: From a fellow San Diegan
I don't typically write hate OR fan mail but
then I read this: "but in reality, for
every 1 hate mail that we get, we have 1000
fan letters." I figured, after reading
that, that there must be a lot of people keeping
their mouths shut because I know that while
America isn't the brightest nation in the world,
it's certainly not stupid enough for the majority
of television fans to like you.
I too am from San Diego and lately I've been
almost ashamed of that fact. It's sickening
that you've somehow become a representative
of this city in the minds of Americans. You
I know you're pretty dense which is why you
couldn't seem to get it through your head that
the decent comedians on the show couldn't stand
you. You talk about finding Dave Mordal funny
and having no problems with him. Of course YOU
have no problem with HIM. You would have no
reason to. But hasn't it occurred to you that
Dave just fucking hates you? He deserved this
more than you ever could. Rich deserved this
more than you. Jesus fucking Christ, even Rob
deserved it more than you.
Now I'm not doing this to get you down so
spare me the happy optimistic bullshit. I just
want you to understand... I want you to get
it through your head that you are the only joke
that anyone's laughing at. You are not a good
comedian. You're kidding yourself!!!! I would
beg you please slit your wrists and crawl under
that desk of yours to die alone but I'm sure
you would only give me some weak passive bullshit
response like, "Well, that's your opinion
and your entitled to it so thank you."
GROW A PAIR OF BALLS FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!!!!!!
Maybe if you just get a set, people wouldn't
hate you so much, and they do. You're true "Fan
base" consists of comedic idiots who don't
know their ass from their elbow and don't know
wit from stupidity which is why they voted for
Lastly, I'd like to thank you because you've
inspired me to get the hell out of San Diego
asap and move to the east coast where the true
talent resides and wusses like you get their
little Asian, Margaret Cho-rip off asses raped
and murdered in a dirty alleyway.
You're a waste of life. You've been handed
opportunities that do not belong to you. I sincerely
hope you burn in hell.
I'm not even going to
touch this one. Well, ok, I will. She has emotional
problems which stem from a poor upbringing and
possible sexual abuse from her father. How do
I know this? She wants Dat to "grow a pair
of balls," which to me signifies she is
in love with balls and because of that fact,
she mut have had some balls in her life early
in her childhood. She also wants Dat to "burn
in hell," but clearly she's skitsofrantic
because she also wants him ass-raped and murdered
in a dirty alleyway. We all know if you get
ass-raped and then murdered in a dirty alleyway,
you go straight to heaven.
Amber has anger issues
as well. You can clearly see she's emulating
experiences she's had in previous encounters
with her dreary vision of herself in the passage,
"please slit your wrists and crawl under
that desk of yours to die alone."
I think the voices inside
her head are also talking to her in Dave or
Rob form. I have personally talked to all the
Last Comic Standing finalists and while they
may have had their differences with Dat, they
really are over it--well, I can't say all of
them. Vos and Dave don't seem to be bitter about
anything at least and I truely respect them
for that. In fact, go out and give them a big
hug if you see them at a show, because they
are swell guys.
You can clearly also
see the type of person she is through her email
address... that word "chronic" means
(marajuana). So kids, let this be a lesson to
you. Don't do drugs!!!
These are a series of
message board responses directed at me. We had
some racist hate mail and I decided to respond
to some of them publicly at fansofrealitytv.com
July 21, 2003
Direct email from: Freakzilla714@aol.com
Subject: asians are a weak people
dat phan was crying on episode one, and now
you are crying because someone
calls him out for the hack that he is on the
Obviously this person
is racist and from Orange County, a place where
racism is rampant, along with rich white people
like that show the O.C. or that movie Orange
County (oops, sorry, my HSS kicked in).
So I responded to this
July 23, 2003
Direct email from: Freakzilla714@aol.com
Subject: Re: asians are a weak people
In a message dated 7/21/2003 11:00:08 AM Pacific
Daylight Time, email@example.com writes:
> . Ralphie May said it best the other
day when he told me, "it's all been done
It hasn't all been done before, because new
things come out everyday yet to be joked about.
And you could do an original joke on an old
thing, instead of just stealing jokes from Margaret
Cho or changing an jewish joke to an asian joke
like Dat Phag does.
Dat Phan has never really
seen or performed with Margaret Cho. He does
remember her short-lived TV show, however. The
old jewish joke this person refers to is an
old street joke that goes, "Two jews walk
into a bar, two weeks later, they own it."
It doesn't make any sense and there are tons
of different variations with other races and
ethnicities -- all of which don't make sense.
Dat does his bit to set-up another punch later
in his act. While I admit, the joke makes no
sense as a text, Dat performs it as his father
testing out his son's P.A. system. He has used
this joke as a call-back to other jokes or to
set up jokes.
I actually asked Dat
about it one time and he said, "That was
a jewish joke?" He had never heard the
joke before. And believe me, Dat Phan wouldn't
lie to my face.
July 24, 2003
Direct email from: Freakzilla714@aol.com
Subject: If Dat gets a sit-com
He could just make one episode and repeat it
Kinda like me and your
mom every week? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (that
was a good one, Just as funny as this clown).
There's irony there and if you don't know where
it is, you don't know comedy as well as I do.